Ranting

Ok so I need to vent a bit…. Last night I was talking to my girlfriend about her moving here and all, and we’re both excited but at the same time kinda nervous and scared. That’s normal right? I mean, I understand her being nervous about moving to a different country, where she just knows me, and we speak a different language and all. I just don’t want her to be like super scared. And I’m kinda nervous too, because she will basically depend on me completely at least at first, and I don’t know, I just want everything to work out. I’m also nervous cause it will be a big change for me, I’ve never had a girlfriend here in Chile, and I’m sure it won’t be easy. People are not as open minded as they are in other places, like the US, so I know having a girlfriend won’t be the easiest thing. Ahhh I don’t know I’m just nervous about everything, is this me just being silly, should I just try to relax and not worry so much about everything? Cause I really want her to come here, I just feel responsible for her cause she’s so much younger and all. I know this must be so much scarier and harder for her too, I just want her to be happy about it and not so scared. I don’t even know if I’m making much sense, am I? lol

We have waited for soooo long, that now that the time is getting closer and closer, I think we’re both freaking out a little. But all we both want are for things to work out. Well anyway, that was my rant for today. I would like to know what you all think.

Soy Lesbiana - I´m a Lesbian

Los días pasan y parece que nada cambia en mi vida… tengo tanto que decir pero a veces me cuesta saber como decirlo… Soy lesbiana… eso, lo dije… o por lo menos creo que soy, me carga tener que etiquetarme dentro de algo. Pero me doy cuenta que me atraen mucho más las mujeres que los hombres, aunque muchas veces me confundo, pasan mil cosas por mi mente. La sociedad, lo que la gente va a pensar. No es fácil. Mi circulo de amistades son todas hetero, casadas, con hijos, y yo sigo sola… bueno no completamente sola, pero eso es cuento para otro día. Me cuesta asumir todo esto... asumir el no casarse, no tener una familia “convencional”, quizás no tener hijos… me siento super perdida la mayor parte del tiempo. Me gustaría conocer más gente que sintiera lo mismo que yo, para no tener que sentirme extraña y fuera de lugar todo el tiempo. Todas estas cosas están constantemente en mi cabeza, siempre pensando y sintiendo tantas cosas… y con muy pocas personas a las que se lo puedo comentar. Esa en gran parte la razón de este blog…

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Days go by and it seems like nothing changes in my life… I have so much to say but it’s hard to say it… I’m a lesbian… there, I said it. At least I think I am, I don’t like having to put “labels” in myself. But I realize that I’m attracted to women a lot more than I am to men, though many times I get confused, and many things go through my mind. Society, what people may think, it’s not easy. My friends are all straight, they have their families, kids, etc, and I’m alone… well not completely but we’ll talk about that some other time. It’s hard to accept all this… accept not getting married, not having a “conventional” family, maybe not having kids… I feel lost most of the time. I would love to meet people that felt the same way I do, so I wouldn’t have to feel “weird” and “out of place” all the time. All this things are constantly on my mind, always thinking and feeling so many things… and I have very few people I can talk openly to. This is the biggest reason for this blog…