I want to skip a few months

So my bosses are back from their vacation, and I have to actually WORK! Ugh so annoying lol. But I was thinking, well I just HAVE to update my blog right? ;) I don’t feel like I usually have much to say, but I’ll think of something ha ha.

My kitty Guaton is doing a little better, he has been eating some on his own, so that’s really good. Plus I’ve been buying really yummy stuff for him to eat lol, I have to spoil my baby. I love my 3 kitties so so much, they are so adorable.

So things with my girlfriend have been good lately, which makes me pretty happy. We both have strong tempers, and sometimes we tend to fight a lot, even though we live far away from each other. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the long distance thing that frustrates both of us and makes us fight more, or if it’s just our tempers. But we are going through a good time lately, and I’m really glad cause it’s really draining to be fighting with the person you love all the time. It just gets so hard when we are both working and have little time to talk. I have to say I NEVER thought I could wait for her this long. It’s been a year and 2 months since I last (and first) saw her, and I really can’t believe it’s been that long already. We have a countdown for the day she’s coming here, and it’s crazy how fast time is going! :) Can I just sleep for the next 6 months and wake up when she’s here? lol I really wish I could!

I wonder how things are going to be when she actually gets here, I know I shouldn’t be dreaming about the future so much, but it’s hard not to. I want to know if she’s going to like it here, if we’ll be good together, so many things.

Right now I’m living with my mom (It’s only TEMPORARY lol), but I’m trying to get a loan to buy my own apartment… our own apartment, I really hope it works out, it would be so cool to have our own place and not have to rent. If it all works out, I should be moving into the new apartment around june, and my girlfriend should be getting here in august. Goddd can I fast forward a few months? Lol

Random thoughts - Pensamientos

First of all I wanted to thank everybody who posted. It made me really happy, and I love knowing that there’s people out there that can understand me, and that I have things in common with. With the people I know I always feel so out of place, when they talk about they husbands and kids. And people always ask me “when are you getting married” and I just roll my eyes.

I think and I hope that when my girlfriend is here with me things will be different. They might be harder cause I’ll just have to come out to more people than I have. Right now just my close family knows. None of my friends here know. Rejection scares me, but I think it would be easier if I have someone that loves me here with me. Right now I feel really lonely, even though I know I have a girlfriend far away that loves me, I miss having someone WITH me.

As you might know from my profile, I am from Chile, and seeing lesbian couples is not very usual here. And it’s not usual at all between the people I know. Whenever one of my friends talks about someone being gay it’s always in a negative way… I really wish people wouldn’t be so judgmental.

I’m starting to think that I complain too much lol. I’m sorry I’m just going through some hard times. I’ve only been trying to accept that I’m a lesbian for a few months, and being alone and not knowing anyone here that feels the way I do is just hard. The only persons I can talk to about everything are my sister and my dad. Yeah my dad is a really understanding person, even if it sounds weird, we have a great relationship. My sister is my best friend, but she’s gone for the summer, she’s working at the US so I don’t have a lot of people to talk to. Sooo I just ramble here for anyone that cares to read lol. ;)

I would love to feel “normal” … Does anyone out there who’s gay feel normal and accepted? Cause I sure don’t… and I wish I knew how to feel that way.

Anyway last night we had a good talk with my girlfriend about her moving here and all. We both have our fears and all, but we can’t wait til august so that she can be here with me. I really hope that everything works out.

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Primero que nada quiero agradecer a todos los que hicieron comentarios. Me puse muy contenta, me gusta saber que hay gente que me entiende, y con la que tengo cosas en común. Con las personas que yo conozco, siempre me siento fuera de lugar, cuando hablan de sus maridos e hijos. Y siempre me preguntan cuando me voy a casar, y yo solo los miro y pongo cara de “paciencia”.

Yo creo, y espero que cuando mi pareja esté aquí conmigo, las cosas van a ser diferentes. A lo mejor van a ser más difíciles, porque voy a tener que “salir del closet” con mas personas. Por ahora solo mi familia sabe, ninguna de mis amigas sabe nada. Me asusta el rechazo, pero creo que las cosas serían más fáciles si tuviera alguien que me quiera aquí conmigo. Ahora me siento muy sola, aunque tengo a mi pareja lejos, extraño mucho tener a alguien aquí, conmigo.

Como pueden saber por mi perfil, soy de Chile, y ver a parejas de lesbianas no es común aquí. Y no es para nada común entre mi circulo de amigos. Cada vez que sale el tema “gay” siempre es de una forma negativa. Me gustaría que la gente no fuera tan critica...

Estoy pensando que quizás me quejo mucho ja ja! Perdón, no es mi intención, pero estoy pasando por un tiempo difícil. Solo llevo pocos meses tratando de aceptar que soy lesbiana, y estar sola sin conocer a nadie aquí que se sienta como yo, es difícil. Las únicas personas con las que hablo de todo son mi hermana y mi papá. Mi papá es una persona muy comprensiva, y tenemos una muy buena relación. Mi hermana es mi mejor amiga, pero está trabajando todo el verano en USA, así es que no tengo mucha gente con quien conversar. Por eso escribo aca, para quien le interese leer! ;)

Me gustaría sentirme “normal”. No les pasa a veces el no sentirse normales y aceptadas?

Anoche tuvimos una buena conversación con mi pareja, sobre ella viniéndose a vivir acá. Las dos tenemos temores, pero no podemos esperar a que sea agosto y ella se venga. Espero de verdad que todo resulte bien.